riverside, ca part deux

it's all kind of surreal, but...
we're here in riverside, ca...
i'm not gonna lie, it's not that bad, and i actually like it up here....
but not enough...

rancho cucamonga is my home...

a series of things have been on my mind lately..
the relationships i have with people, my family, and brian...
it's wierd i mean i'm reconnecting with a lotta old friends...
jovana who's been nearest and dearest to me maybe since i was a freshman in high school, has been on the reconnect lately..
and well other friends i no longer have, but always have a special place in my heart...

my best friend aisa is preggo!!! we're excited and it's gonna be a rough road, but she's got all of us and her man by her side, i'm so extremely excited to be ninang,

with my family things have been chill...
but awkward, i dont know if it's the stress that everyone's going thru with the move but i dont know...
it makes me feel funny,
i have a wierd vibe..
i'm trying my best to be nice and have a good attitude, but sometimes when things arent reciprocated i tend to just shuttup and give up...

which leads me to this...
being nonchalant and defiant is it all really worth it?

i guess my biggest flaw, and biggest asset is my desire to please everyone,
my problem is i care about everything...
i dont like making my parents mad, and i dont like doing things that make anyone upset...
i'd rather there be harmony and order as opposed to any tension...

i guess that's just me, but i just dont get it...
i really dont understand the mean, the moodiness lemme take shit out on u..
the im gonna be fucked up to u even though u have no idea why...
but i think...that's why im glad i'm moving,
i dont have to deal with it, if my family is mad then they're mad, but i'm not going to be subjected to any sense of anxiousness...
but really i think that i should stop being so concerned about how everyone else feels...
or maybe i just try to hard...

i dont know obviously all of this is kinda not making sense because i'm just saying things as they come into my head, but on the real....
i'm over feeling like i'm the only one that ever CARES about what other people say or do...
or how they feel or whatever...

GAAAHHHH blah blah blah i'm so done with it..
i'm sorry if i've kind of rambled on, but i can't help it

either way....

AIM me this lonely evening...

misskrisnicole07

DO IT just DO IT

riverside, ca

so we have OFFICIALLY began moving to Riverside, CA...
it was really weird because when i was helping my dad i kept referring to the house as THEIR house, because it's not ours...
i wont be living there..
i would be lying to you if i told u i wasnt tempted to just cancel all plans of moving out and just live with them in that 1 acre lot...
but i'm not going to..

there's a lot of inconveniences to living there, number one being it's not rancho cucamonga...
as much as i've hated on this place, i love it too much too leave...

i'm embarking on this new journey and i know that i always say it but i'm seriously scared..
a million things could go wrong, and right now my future roommate is in the Philippines so she's not here for me to yell at, because she seriously needs to get her shit together at work....

how do these feelings of nervousness subside?
i'm reaching out to all ya'll...
i'm so seriously scared, my nerves are shot, but in the back of my head I KNOW i can do it...

so seriously hook me up with some tips, i know that i've nationally promised to do better with eating out and stuff, and seriously i'm doing it, but that doesnt mean shit..

my job paycheck varies, thank god i've decided to take on babysitting and being a nanny again...

i hope that my hard work pays off...there's no more room for me to promote at my job, im really nervous about that..

i need to make more money and it sounds greedy but it's the truth, by the time i'm 25 i better own a house or else i'd seriously feel like i've failed...

hopefully the market stays sucky by the time i get my first teaching job because then brian and me can live in a house by the time we get married...
my timeline is seriously going according to plan...
and i dont want it to stop now...'
ive had so much support and motivation..
and as much as i scourn my parents..
i'm forever thankful that they've instilled the value of hard work in me....
either way,
things for the most part are stressful,
with school and this move (i'm gonna have to move 2 times i might add) i'm kinda overwhelmed...

hopefully,
life will start to level out...

goodnight all, and dont be too afraid to holla at me i miss all of u guys!

macs macs macs

i am currently updating from one of nearest and dearest friends macs....
and i am seriously obsessed,
as several of my cousins and friends read this and yet neglect to comment i thnk that all of u should get together and buy me a 12 inch notebook...
i really dont mind having a 13 inch mac because it's waaaaay cute...
and so yes

either way, i have not visited the gym that i apparently pay 51.90 for because my cousin never pays me ... (jk love u cousin)...since monday

and well that's all tragedy and as skyeler and sarissa would say...it's a mess

im a mess, and my baby's birthday is on the 21st and his parents' wedding anniversary is on september, and sarissa and willis' wedding is the day after...

and i seriously need nt lok like a fat tub of lard.

and so anyways...
i realize that this is serious mindless banter...but i need to just breath out all my frustrations with the people i call my parents....

i am currently hiding away and skyeler, gamaur, sarissa, and willis' apartment because my parents aren't adults and place their children in the middle...

my parents also rushed into purchasing a house in riverside, and as i understand that the 1.2 million dollar home that they got for 800 thousand is an excellent investment it was extremely ill prepared.

i do not wanna hear "r u sure ur ready to move out" or "this is a big commitment" blah blah blah...

because i'm ready to ask them if they're ready for the move or if they can handle the big commitment, seeing as they've been badgering me to ask my friends to move into our house..which i might add will seriously invade their privacy...and that's ridiculous...i avoid home because i dont want questions about if any of my friends will move in...

GAAAAAAAAAH

and then...
i'm sorry, but i know that they dont like that my sister got a tattoo...

but for god's sake it's a tattoo of our last name...

she didnt shoot heroin up her arm and have twins as a result of being so high that she was unable to comprehend what she was doing...

now doesnt that sound so much worst then getting a fucking tattoo on ur wrist!!!!

so im tired of the questions about that..
and im just tired...

they're just giving me more and more reasons to not want to be home

i love them so bad and i am soooo thankful...

but i am 22 years old and make a good amount of money, as long as i can handle it im fine...

and i am...

this is a long bitter rant i love u all :)

♥

ruffs and stuffs with my afro puffs

This weekend has been quite eventful and I can honestly say relaxing.

There's so many things going on in this house, and I am pretty sure that of all the times that I HAVENT been the adult, I'm the most adult person in this house....

my sister left for the bay area on Friday, and my dad has been in Korea since this past Tuesday, leaving the house to my mother and I.

On Friday I had an early day at work and ended early, which was, I'm gonna be honest, A BEAUTIFUL THING

-i returned that piece of shit rental car that cost me $520
-went to lunch with my cousin and seestar
-posted up at home
-and babysat my bosses formerly autistic son and psycho daughter
dont get me wrong i ADORE both these kids, but i'm sure i tend to favor the son, who's as chill as my sister and so incredibly loveable

Saturday:
-I had work early in the morning but it wasnt that serious it was like 2 hours and really chill
-I went to one of my clients houses to pick up boxes and say hello
-Then off Brian and I went to Downtown Disney...followed by the BLOCK to watch RUSH HOUR 3...SO FUNNY by the way it's a must watch before the summer is over!
-We ate a late dinner at Boston's after a mini trip to TARGET
-And home I went ;)

Sunday:
-My mother woke me too early on a day that i DONT have to wake up, to ask me about something that made no matter to me!
-I kinda chilled at the house for a minute and then got ready
-went to pick up ateh janice and headed over to....
-christy criders house for a laser hair removal party!!

cousins, close ur eyes so that ur not grossed out by this, but i'm officially addicted
!!!! and i'm pretty sure that from here on out i'm gonna get everything done!

and here i am lonely tuesday...
my dad is in korea, and i'm still shakin at the knees at the very thought of moving out..
but on that same note...
im so extremely excited!

everyone has been so extremely supportive which...MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!

so here i am....before all u young folks...imma do this shit and ur gonna be proud of me when i do!!!


okay..
well i have a lot more to say but that's what this evening is for!

lots of love and kisses!!!

♥

kris nicole

korea and all things alike

now as u know i'm moving out...

my parents, my sister, and i will be moving in late august early september to riverside...
in late september my sister will be migrating to westwood UCLA...
and in october, i will be officially on my own,

possibly 09.30.07 all depending upon what the financial situation looks like..
i actually had a very humbling conversation with my father...
well my sister n i did,

he basically told me that he understands my desire for independence and that he'll support me...he like my mother believes that i need to be on my own in order to understand "responsibility"

my boyfriend as well as my cousin and friends had to deter me from purchasing a big ticket item today....
so i mean as long as i have such positive influences in my life i will continue to succeed...

i have managed to do well with my money....
i maintain, and i have no idea how i do but i do...

soon i will be moving out and it's a chapter in my life that i'm EXTREMELY excited for...

today...
i woke up to receive a call from my kid's mom that i can sleep a half an hour more, which turned into 45 minutes, and as usual i was late :)

i had a break after my shift, but was it really a break? my ass went to chino hills, back to norco then afterwards went back to chino hills!

either way i went to 71 after i got some time sheets signed and purchased my main girl kahlie her belated bday gift because god knows i'm the WORST at being on time with those things...

went to anthony's and contracted the "itus"...

went to my last shift and a reeediculously unsanitary home, that smells of urine and feces....
im sorry if i'm too graphic, but seriously, u may not be wealthy but it's not very difficult to clean to the point where the therapists that come in and out of ur house are comfortable, and not scared of contracting a bacterial disease!!!

and im done

i came home and realized my father was leaving for korea tomorrow.

had some daughter father time, my seestar, father and i...

we learned a lot from him, i actually appreciated that time, as opposed all the other times that i do not enjoy his presence..

and its interesting because the conversation was awesome and it wasn't awkward at all,
but i did realize that i need to prove to them and myself that i can do this...

i know that my blogs lately have been full of i'm moving out this and that, but i feel like i'm confirming it all here.
and how embarrassing would that be that i didnt do it and it's on here to haunt me forever that i have no idea how to get my shit together

the fact of the matter is my ass has been spoiled from day one,
and now the daily hustle will be intense enough for me to get my shit together..

i made it so i have more availability at work and still have a good school schedule..
im a little worried about car insurance, and i'm pretty sure my parents are paying for the deductible from this car accident, but if they dont, i might fall apart...no not really, i have enough that i can pay the 500 bucks im just hoping that i wont have to....

im in dire need of time with the following people...
brian
kahlie
my seestar
skyeler
gamaur
sarissa
ali with one l
chelsea clark

if ur name is on this list please call me at ur earliest convenience :)

goodnight