10 years and 2 days

I'll never forget that early early morning, my mom waking my sister and I up, and me not even questioning why...all because I knew.

I was in 8th grade, my sister in 4th. We slept in the same bed that night (we always liked to play slumber party...mostly because even though she was afraid of the dark, I secretly was afraid too) and so going to sleep, I slept with tears slowly coming down my eyes, because mentally and emotionally, I didn't wanna let go, but I knew I had to...So I went to sleep that night with a little whisper to my Tatay, "I'm ready if you are"....And I woke up...

We arrived in Chino Hills, to the most somber mood I've ever walked into in my life...everyone with puffy eye lids and red eye balls...that day....that day was the day....I'm not religious but I prayed, I prayed intensely for his soul, for our family, and greatly for my grandmother, who had just lost the love of her life.

We went about, kind of reminiscing about Tatay about our family, about how much he brought our family together, the many times he was our rock. Tatay, was a man of pride, and that pride is so strong I think it's been instilled into each and every one of his children and grandchildren....

At one point, I went over to my Tatay, sleeping, sooooo peacefully...I put my hand on his arm, and fell asleep too....

Again, I was awoken...the people were here to take him away...WOW how i LOATHED God that very moment, bc up until that moment, it wasn't real that he was gone, it wasn't real that I would only see him in my sleep...

As they took him away there were silent sobs that turned into loud ones, and I took the time to look around..
for the first time in my life, I saw my Dad cry, real tears that I never in my life had seen before....

The following days that led up to the funeral were tough and memorable...

But Tay, if it wasn't for all of your persistence making sure all of us got along, making sure that we realized how important it was to be NOCON...I don't think that I could say that some of my closest friends are my cousins..I don't even know how many people can say that...

It's because of you that I look forward to one day having kids myself, and teaching them the things you taught me...It's because of you I'm proud to say I am NOCON...

It's because of you that I'm such a big dreamer, and it's because of you that NANAY still has that twinkle in her eye...

Both Kuya Pogi and Kuya Sean had such touching entries about Tatay, and I guess I was inspired, I wasn't going to write about it, because I lack the grace that it takes to write something so touching, but I think that it's important to at least express what he's meant to me, what he's done for me, and what he's made me see.

the jitters

so i know that in my last post i said that we're waiting for a few months until we find a new apartment to get settled and such, but we went on a tour on sunday, and fell in love!

at this point all we're waiting for is employment verification from brian's job and we'll be good to go...


This is the apartment floorplan, for those of u that know the area, it's on 4th and milliken right behind boston's, it's a BEAUTIFUL apartment, and I'm so in love with it...
I'm a bit nervous because brian's job is taking forever, and we're supposed to be moved in by Tuesday the 18th...
talk about fast movement...

either way, i like prefacing the announcement of a possible new apartment with that we arent sure til everything is submitted.

there's a lot of things going on right now with work, family, friends, and i'm just trying to find that balance...

family wise, things are going great, living with my cousin isnt bad at all, and i'm extremely thankful for all her generosity!
my parents and i have thee greatest relationship since i dont even know when, i think they've finally gained respect for me, especially since i've finished part of my scholarly journey...
now it's about breaking to them that brian and i are going to live together, but that's another obstacle that i will willingly take on once i'm sure that we're approved for this apartment.

i've been hanging out a lot with my friends which oddly enough, is something that is so new to me, because before i moved out, the only thing i really had time for was brian, especially because i had some gnarly curfew...so i've been living the good life with the greatest friends anyone can ask for...

and work...is soooo crazy, i'm a little overwhelemed but little by little i'm sure things will fall into place....
i'm adjusting and realizing that i have a lot more riding on my job and a lot more responsibilities and a lot more people depending on me...

so needless to say i'm a nervous wreck and i'm going crazy about everything...
it's enough to be annoyed, but brian and my friends are greatly supportive of me :)

well hopefully next time i'm updating is via "apartment lovely"!

i hope that everyone's week was well

WOW AN UPDATE!

nothing like a day of rain to inspire u to update ur blog...
WELL...
things have been up and down as of lately, i've been ridiculously stressed out because of work, but i've been living the good life because of my fatty checks :)

At the moment i'm living with my wonderful and oh so generous cousin, until money and things balance out with the boyfriend and i :)

slowly but surely i've been doing what's best for me, i've been hanging out with friends and family...
I'm on yet another weight loss kick!

This election has got me going crazy!!
I was coming home yesterday and saw a mass amount of people on day creeek on foothill, either opposed to proposition 8 or for it...
every time i honked for a NO on PROP 8 person a YES on PROP 8 person walked in the way, and it made me upset because i didn't want them to think that I was honking for them!!!!
SO....
i rolled down my window and yelled "NO ON PROP 8" like 5 times, Do you think I made my message clear?

It's been a constant debate about who should be in office mccain and palin or obama and biden.
Now if you love me and know me you know who I'm voting for, and what I stand for and look for in a President...
But any way that any person votes, I've noticed a big sense of.....
I'm still not sure what the word is for it...
but it's something I havent seen in a very long time!
People are gathering together and actually caring about the issues...

I remember last election was not even like this,
people had voter efficacy and felt that their vote didnt count,
but this time around people are really determined about getting to the polls and making their vote count!!
I'm excited for the next few days turn of events

I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU GO OUT TO VOTE, YOUR VOTE COUNTS NO MATTER WHAT U SAY!!!
Now I'm off to shower and go vote myself :)

Have a lovely day it's raining for all the right reasons :) I'm glad I didnt wash my car!