as of my last post great things have arisen...and I'm trying my very best to capitalize off moments like these :)

I'm updating via sidekick, so if this post is visually displeasing I apologize, but thank you in advance for reading...

there's been a lot of things on my mind; kids, money, my health, my family, my relationships.....

ever since I started working with kids, there's been a lot of things that I have come to a realization with....its that I want kids so very much...Michael and Nicholas, the 2 Korean boys that I nannied for 2 years plus mean the world to me...I mothered them I fed them, did homework with them, read books with them, bathed them, and was their 2nd mother when their mom had things to do....I would not trade that experience for the world...they're still a greater part of my life and I plan to have them in that part for the rest of my life...
kuya pogs and ateh jas have been there for me especially in the tougher times last year....I couldn't ask for a better big bro and sister in law...and even more...they've been truly blessed with twins whom we're all anxiously awaiting the arrival of...they, like the Lee Family, have become a great part in my life...kuya pogz and ateh jas took me in and even welcomed brian with open arms (and for my family that's a reaally big deal)...they've done a lot of emotional coaching and supporting...I can't help but want to just be able to give back to them as much as I can, and with the twins coming, I can't think of a better way, than to love those kids to no end...

but with all these things comes money, the biggest deal ever these days, our economy is hurting and people are suffering...2 weeks ago brian and I ran into a man who asked us for money, food, or anything we had to offer..he told us that him and his family were living at a motel down the street and that he can't find a job...my heart melted...I'm usually so skeptical, but there was something so humble about that man...I wanted to tell him to come stay with us and save their money from a shitty motel...but who am I? we bought them chips and gave them 5 dollars...it was probably nothing...but we tried...on the way home I was reduced to tears...very intense, sad, scared tears...
will that ever be me? will I ever have to ask for anything from strangers in the parking lot of Target? Please God I hope not...

wow quite the entry I've got going here...I think I'll stop here..I'm actually getting tired, and I think Brians getting tired of hearing me type on my sidekick...night world...here's to another day...

President elect, make this country one that my niece and nephew will have a brighter future in....